I recently celebrated a birthday, and just like Alexander, my birthday is always bad news for the people around me, a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Growing up, no matter what my family tried to do, I would go into a dark funk and bite anyone’s head off if they spoke to me. No matter what happened, it never seemed special enough. Even a simple “Happy birthday” wish would annoy me. ‘Is that the best you can come up with?’ I’d think. ‘Points for creativity.’
I wish I could go back in time and give my grumbling, pimply teenager-self a good kick in the pants and say, “The biggest decision you’ll make today is whether to have cereal or toast for breakfast, so quit whining, you responsibility-free idiot.”
This year’s birthday could have easily become a terrible, horrible, very bad day, especially since my youngest had gotten chicken pox, just one more illness to pile on what had been three weeks of croup in our household.
But that was only a minor setback in a year that brought our family some major challenges, testing our limits as humans, as mothers and fathers, as sons and daughters, and as a couple. At times, it felt like we were gingerly making our way through a room full of broken glass, trying to avoid getting ripped to pieces.
But my husband’s birthday gift to me this year showed me exactly what had gotten us through all the challenges. He tends to spend big on presents, whether it’s flowers, fancy boots or perfume, even though my tastes are more in line with the Paper Bag Princess than Carrie Bradshaw. So this year, I had asked him to take some time and do something thoughtful instead of going out and spending money.
“Being thoughtful takes more effort than buying something!” he complained.
I didn’t expect more than a hand-written letter. So imagine my surprise when, two weeks later, he showed me a video compilation of sweet and heart-felt wishes that he’d collected from friends and family from all over the world that got me crying. (There were quite a few impressed ladies out there, let me tell you, although their husbands might not have been as thrilled!) And as the night wound down, and I put my kids to bed, they wrapped their little arms around me and told me they loved me “to Pluto and back, to Pluto and back.” Who could ask for a better present than that?
At the end of this sometimes very difficult, sometimes very horrible, very bad year, there was so many of these moments that were so very good, so very sweet, so very precious. Whenever we got through our darkest moments, we found the light at the end of the tunnel made us appreciate the little things – sunshine, fresh air, laughter, friendship and good health – so much more.
I know now that the difference between having a very terrible, no good day and having an awesome, excellent day is all in your mindset. So I choose to remember the good, first and foremost the wonderful people in our lives, and our little family that together, can face anything that comes our way.
It still doesn’t matter to me about what happens on my birthday. Maybe I’ve finally matured (it only took 30 years), but I realize now that what matters each time is taking stock of all the gifts in my life that I have enjoyed all year long - another year older, another year wiser, another year richer.
