As the next decades of parenthood stretch before me, I find myself more and more scared. There are lots of reasons for fear, including what the future world will be like for my kid(s) and what kind of trouble they might get into. But a more practical fear of mine is how I’m going to provide them with activities, sports and community engagement without either a) paying through the nose myself or b) raiding the pockets of others through bingos/casinos or other fundraisers.
These past few months, I’ve bought Girl Guide cookies, Scouts popcorn, Mom’s Pantry products and cookie dough, to name a few, to support parents who are asked to fundraise for their kids’ activities (don’t worry, I enjoyed every bite, although I don’t know if my waistline felt the same). But each time I pulled out my wallet, the scary thought popped into my head, ‘I’m going to be the one doing the asking sometime soon.’
Parents are lucky to have so many options for programming for their kids in a small community like St. Paul. And there’s no way that all the programming options would be possible without the tremendous contribution of people who volunteer or pitch in to help run clubs, organizations and associations. I know it’s not cheap to offer organized courses - costs add up, from facility rentals, to paying instructors, to insurance and equipment and so on.
But I also can’t imagine being a parent to two, three, four or even more children and having to pony up what can amount to thousands of dollars over the years for activities and still having to hit up family and friends to buy products or raise funds through other means like gambling. Some might say “Just take my money and don’t ask me to work a bingo/casino,” but I can see how that is unfair for those who can’t afford such a perspective.
When I was a kid, my parents had me enrolled in every conceivable activity – whether it was gymnastics, swimming or math class, they got me out of the house and out of their hair. They paid the registration fees and never worked a single bingo or had to do too much in the way of fundraising, aside from selling Girl Guide cookies and meat sales or other types of sales for my brother’s high school basketball team.
Have times changed? Are things more expensive now than they once were and that’s why fundraising is needed? Or is it because we live in a smaller community where there are fewer user groups to draw upon to make fees cheaper?
I’ve been told that smaller communities like St. Paul are better off – yes, you have to fundraise, but it keeps the registration fees down, and the advantage is having more convenient arrangements. Ice times or swimming clubs, for instance, take place at evenings rather than the crack of dawn, and practices can run five, 10 or 15 minutes overtime without kids getting booted out the door, unlike in the city.
While not in any way detracting from the work of volunteers who make sure we have activities for our kids, I still have to say that to me, it appears as though the demands on today’s parent are incredible. A father or mother works full-time, makes dinner, rushes their kids to this or that activity, and then when they finally have some down time, they have to give it up for a bingo or to drive up to Fort McMurray to work a casino.
If the costs and commitment of providing activities for my children prove to be too challenging, I might have to come up with an alternate game plan. I still want my kids to be involved and engaged, but that doesn’t mean that all of their activities have to be competitive or structured. There’s a lot of appeal, if it’s possible, to get kids and their parents together for fun, to play a low-key game of soccer, or shinny on a pond, or whatever else.
In the late summer nights, driving past the trailer court in St. Paul, I sometimes see boys and their fathers playing a game of street hockey, with the sounds of their friendly competition filling the air. It’s obvious fun, it re-establishes the deep connection between parents and their children, it offers physical activity – and best of all, even with all the benefits, it still doesn’t cost a dime for them or anyone else.
