How do you pack a polar bear? The same way you'd wield a wolverine, of course.
But when you're hoisting a hippopotamus head, you've got to be careful of his removable ears, and it's far easier to carry a caribou if you take off its antlers. And it goes without saying that if you're taking a T-Rex for a trip, it's so much easier when you pull of his head and long tail.
What?
On Wednesday, a couple of lucky volunteers got to move more than 200 of the 3D animals that will be part of the 2019 World 3D Archery Championships in Lac La Biche from Sept. 2 -7. Lucky, if you consider hoisting lifelike animals of all shapes and sizes to be lucky. The inanimate zoo of animal targets was moved from its previous storage space inside the newly built archery building at the Herb Erickson Archery Range to a fenced-in holding pen before they are taken onto the three main 'loops' that will make up the qualification and elimination courses at next week's global shooting event.
So with all these great animal likenesses, (did I mention there are four African Baboons — the ones with the weird red and white butts, alligators and giant mosquitoes) why are there no photos, you might be asking at this point. After-all, wouldn't a big photo of a 75-pound black boar being packed upside down so its tusks are wedged comfortably under the out-stretched front paws of a six-foot-tall polar bear whose little polar nose is nestled under the fluffed tail-feathers of a giant, alert turkey ... all being stacked together by the expert handling of archery volunteer Gabe Durocher, be just about perfect for this article?
Yes, it would be. But it can't ... until Monday.
You see, for all the public access that is being promoted for the Sept. 2-7 World 3D Archery Championships in Lac La Biche; a kind of 'Little Engine That Could' scenario featuring a world-class event taking place in the smallest venue in the history of the world-class event ... there are some secrets that have to be preserved.
No athlete can see the animal targets before the official event begins. That's one of those secrets.
But more importantly, it's a rule — says Ann Neumeyer, the over-seeing field supervisor for the Lac La Biche event taking over the Herb Erickson Archery Range all of next week. The rule is that athletes can't see the target zones of the animals they will be shooting at. You see, each animal has unique locations where their scoring targets are located. It could be seen as an unfair advantage if an 'early-bird' athlete saw one of the animals in the archery building before Ann and her Field Crew had a chance to put the target into the outdoor field location. Very serious stuff.
Field supervisor for Lac La Biche's World 3D Archery Championships, Ann Neumeyer checks out the relocated animal targets that have somehow magically become blurred in this photo ... phew, nobody wants the athletes to get advance notice of all the cool targets.
And although Ann — who is part of the archery family in Lethbridge, Alberta — isn't he rule-maker (that is something mandated by international archery bodies), she is the guardian of the rules for the big show in Lac La Biche. She's also a several-time Team Canada archery athlete who most recently represented her country at the 2015 World 3D archery event in Terni, Italy.
POST publisher Rob McKinley was up close and personal with the targets for the big event ... but aside from admitting that, yes, there's a dinosaur, we've edited the photo so the course location can't be identified before the event, and we've cropped the photo to cut out any indication of where the target area is (on the duck-bill dinosaur, not the fur-chinned news guy).
With some athletes coming to the range a few days early — perhaps to get their bearings —Neumeyer, and her husband Ray (who's also been a Team Canada archery member), along with Durocher and that newspaper guy, had to move the 200-plus targets from the giant archery headquarters to a better hiding spot. It took a full six hours to move all of the targets, including one target grouping that her husband called Ann's "pride an joy." That one features two bucks locking horns in what appears to be a battle that might cause two real-life animals to forget that world-class target shooters are standing just 35 metres away with their world-class bows and arrows and world-class aim.
As a bit of an aside — the only targets that Durocher and his conscripted volunteer (who is best-suited to writing stories rather than man-handling life-size animal mannequins) dropped in their entire day of target moving ... was Ann's "pride and joy". Nothing smashed, as most of the larger targets have several break-away parts ... heads, horns, tails, wings ... which is probably to make for easier transportation. But also helped a certain volunteer to make stupid joke comments about "losing their head", "feeling horny", "Rack-ing their brain", or "taking a face-off in the corner" (Because everyone likes a comedian when they are facing a seemingly never-ending procession of heavy, foam-filled wildlife mannequins).
So if you are wondering what they are shooting at ... this article will hopefully explain why archery officials can't be too specific until the Worlds start. But when the archers hit the trails, taking aim at all of the animals that were hefted, hauled, carried and carted, the best way to find out about their targets is to see for yourself. Once the events start, the public is more than welcome to check out just about every aspect of the competition. The Thursday and Friday elimination rounds will see the public being able to follow archers as they make their way through the courses. Cheer them on, watch their expertise and see all of the great targets that are on display.
