As someone who struggled with body issues for a long time when I was younger, I always saw it as a backhanded compliment when someone would say I look good for my size.
While I appreciated the thought, as a self-conscious teenager, I could have done without the emphasis on my figure. I never understood the need they felt to clarify that even though I’m fat, they thought I was pretty and therefore had worth.
Robynne Henry The Henry Hype
The other day, I came across an interview with a musician by the name of Lizzo, who’s an overweight singer. She said she didn’t like it when people would compliment her for being brave for wearing revealing outfits and being in the public eye.
“If you saw Anne Hathaway in a bikini on a billboard, you wouldn’t call her brave. I just think there’s a double-standard when it comes to women,” she said during the interview.
When I was reading through the article, Lizzo’s comments struck a cord with me and the girl I used to be. The one who felt ashamed of the body I had, and who felt the need to try extreme measures to lose weight.
While I know a lot of the comments I received on my body came from a good place, I still don’t understand why someone felt the need to say any of them. Even if I’m pretty for someone my size, what right did they have to say that?
When I went through an extensive process to force myself to love the body I have, letting go of the anger and resentment I felt toward myself was fairly easy. I came to the conclusion if I wanted to change anything about myself physically, I would have to make a commitment to a plan and follow through with it.
I told myself until I get to that point, I need to love the body I have and appreciate everything it does for me. It took a very long time to rewire my brain to remove the negatives society, friends, and family had said about me when it came to my appearance.
Am I still overweight? Yes. Should I probably eat better and stick to a workout routine to get healthier? Yes. Do I look in the mirror and hate my imperfections? No.
While I do still struggle with how I look, I’ve grown to love myself and my body. I’m actually a very confident person, and actively worked on changing my phrasing when I offer people compliments.
Next time you go to applaud someone and how they look, make sure the way you word it is getting your point across in the right way.
