I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude lately.
I notice the topic is everywhere, from the friend blogging about keeping a gratitude journal to others posting lists of things for which they are grateful. When we are facing tough circumstances, it’s easy to forget and take for granted the fact that we enjoy such basics as roofs over our heads, central heating, clean, running water and more.
But I think that gratitude for our own blessings is only one piece of the puzzle. Remembering the things we are thankful for may bring joy to ourselves, but expressing gratitude to others helps to spread that joy.
In times past, I would be embarrassed with my dad’s long poetic thanks to random people. Once, as an older waitress - with a sweet disposition and readiness to help - cleared away our dishes, he told her, “Thank you so much for your kindness. We can really feel your sincere spirit and the love flowing from you.”
Even though it was just as embarrassing to hear as when I as a kid, at the same time, I was impressed by his lack of guile, his willingness to express the truth without filter in praise of someone else.
In that moment, I wished I too could pour my heart out to strangers, naked of reserve, to tell the cashier at the store I am grateful every time with her patience with me and her smiles for my three children; to tell the readers that share encouragement how much I appreciate their kind words; to tell a nurse how much my heart was warmed by her staying after a long overnight shift to hold my sick baby. Unfortunately, I always chicken out at the moment of truth, afraid that my attempt to be grateful will come off with me sounding either cheesy or creepy.
A group of friends and I were recently talking about when the negative voices – the ones that are quick and loud in their complaints about anything and everything – win out. When you consistently find fault and never find a way to be kind or grateful and to celebrate small victories, you erode others’ self-worth, you erode their ability to do better, and your relationships and environment turn bitter. To be a leader and to help affect change, people need to be loud and vocal in celebrating and appreciating the positive while working towards constructive growth.
The best random act of kindness you can do for someone – in my humble opinion – does not require an extravagant use of time or money. It’s to tell the people in your life that you appreciate them, that you notice the little things they do every day, and that they make a difference. And when they hear it and believe it, they will.
