Every so often, we are all confronted with the fact of aging. For my six-year-old daughter, it’s probing her teeth looking for the first sign of a wiggle so she can pop out those baby teeth and sprout those awful Chiclet-looking adult teeth in their stead. For me, it’s attempting to bend backwards into a bridge as I used to do when I was younger only to hear a nasty sounding pop, or to see the emerging signs of more white hair.
More recently, it’s been looking at my son and realizing he’s not a baby any more. Instead of wanting to cuddle and read a car book, he wants me to play sports and risk my back even further. Instead of relishing the days where we get to hang out together, he wants to go to his sitter’s house and play hockey with the boys. Cue the violins and sad music - “When you coming home Dad, I don’t know when, you know we’ll have a good time then.”
As rushed as life is, I know you have to take time to relish the moments when it’s not rushed, when there aren’t demands on your time, when you can just exist and breathe. So when I was rushing off to work one morning, only to realize my husband had taken my only vehicle keys with him, I had a momentary freak-out. After all, I’d just spent 20 minutes chasing around a two-year-old whirling dervish, hog-tying her and changing her clothes and squeezing her kicking feet into ridiculously small boots.
But I decided to finish my work from home, and to make the most of the day at home with my two children.
Now, to some people, that may sound like heaven, but I never like to lounge around the house. The idea of being stuck inside - on this miserable weather day - was scary to me, but I gave it my best go. We played blocks, Play-doh, did the same Dora puzzle 10 times, built roads and mailboxes, created a story book, shoveled, did a load of laundry, played hockey, watched a couple shows and built a tent. When I checked my watch, I was shocked to see it was only noon!
In the long moments of that day, I realized what an exceptional task it is to be at home with kids all the time, whether as a stay-at-home parent or a dayhome provider. I have a lot of admiration for their work, discipline, patience and kindness. The day at home surely can be quiet and long at times, but there are also moments of love and tenderness that make it an absolute blessing.
As the night wound down, I had some one-on-one time with my oldest, as we stayed up late to watch Full House. It makes me smile to see my daughter watching a show I watched as a kid - laughing at all the silly parts, sniffling at the obligatory sad moment, and then cheering at the end.
When it was over, I said to her, really to find out more about her day than anything - “What was your favorite part of your day at school?”
“Does it have to be at school?” she asked. When I shook my head no, she leaned closer to me and whispered, “Right now.”
Even though they’re getting older, it’s moments like this where I realize I’m still needed and loved. I could never ask for a greater gift than that for this disjointed, increasingly grey-haired - but unbelievably lucky - mom.
