This January marked 10 years since my husband and I started dating. This feat alone has made me think about relationships, love and what makes a couple stay together for years and years, but with Valentine’s Day approaching, the topic seems to come up even more often in my mind.
As I was sifting through some submissions from residents about local couples they look up to (see page ? for our Valentine’s Day submissions), I started to think about who I look up to, and who I model my marriage after.
My parents have been married for over 30 years, and although they have a strong marriage, I know my relationship with my husband is different than my parents’ relationship. Not in a bad way, but it’s simply different.
I’m sure there are reasons for this. The first being that my husband has gone through a lot of medical issues since we’ve been together, and although he works when he’s healthy, he has had a lot of time to stay home and be Mr. Mom. My dad on the other hand, was often at work for more hours in a day than he was home when I was young.
I certainly admire both of these men in my life, but I realize that this big difference has had a huge impact on my relationship with my husband. Instead of my husband working long hours, I seem to be the one who often spends more hours away from home working. In the past couple weeks he has certainly spent more time playing, disciplining and making meals than I have.
And I am thankful for a husband who is so dedicated to his children, just as I’m sure my dad is thankful to my mom for her dedication to my brothers and I while we were growing up.
Although my relationship with my husband is different than my own parents, there are certainly lessons I have learnt from my parents that I find useful in my own marriage, dedication and the importance of spending casual time with family being some of them.
We don’t need expensive holidays to enjoy each other’s company. Just being together, camping, playing outside, or relaxing in front of the television with a bowl of popcorn seems to work just fine.
Another strong relationship I look up to in my life is that of my in-laws. Anyone that knows my in-laws can attest to the fact that they are a couple that deserves special recognition.
Even after over 30 years of being together, they still make sure to kiss each other goodbye every morning. Although I sometimes joke about how my mother-in-law caters to my father-in-law, by making him a very specific lunch every morning, diligently ironing everything from his t-shirts to his jeans, and making sure he has his favourite snacks ready as soon as he comes home from work, I do admire her dedication.
And although my father-in-law is a bit quieter in how he shows his love to his wife, there really aren’t any words that are needed. Simply being around them, you can feel their commitment and love for one another.
And again, although my husband and I are very different than his parents, although my husband is much more like his mother than he would ever want to admit, there are many lessons I can take from their marriage, such as the importance of saying “I love you” and that it really is the little things, the small gestures, that speak volumes.
Having strong relationships to look up to is something I cherish and I feel will help keep my own marriage going strong. I look forward to always learning and growing in my relationship with my husband and our two beautiful sons, and together facing the challenges that will come our way.
