BONNYVILLE – With a full pregnant belly, Bonnyville resident Dawn Wickhorst shared her surrogacy story, sparked by a desire to help others create a family of their own.
Wickhorst was blessed with five children of her own, and though surrogates do not get paid in Canada as they do in other countries, she decided that she was going to share the gift of life and become a surrogate.
“I can’t imagine my life without my kids. Thinking about somebody wanting that and not being able to have it is totally heartbreaking,” she says.
Less than two weeks from her due date, wearing a floral dress and a pair of sparkly sunglasses on her head, Wickhorst’s eyes light up when she speaks about how profound the experience of surrogacy has been for her, but also shares candidly about the realities of pregnancy.
“It’s a surreal experience. Some days it can be really hard, but it’s beautiful . . . I can tell that my body is prepping for labour, which is exciting, but I’ve never gone into labour naturally, I always have to be induced, even with my twins. They just don’t want to leave my body - I’m like the Fairmont.”
This is her second time being a surrogate for a queer couple. She has also shared her journey on social media to inspire other women to consider surrogacy.
Wickhorst spoke about how supportive the intended parents have been, and the immense sense of gratitude she feels from them. The experience has formed a special friendship, and Wickhorst has enjoyed spending time with them.
They even helped Wickhorst come up with a business idea that will allow her to continue working in the surrogacy space. Wickhorst will be launching a company called Lumiere that will help intended parents connect with surrogates.
“It feels like everything I’ve ever done in my life leads up to this work – like being a professional photographer, being a writer, and working with social media . . . I’m really excited about it.”
Wickhorst says her surrogacy journey was sparked by an interview she was conducting while working for a maternity magazine called Birth Issues. Author Blase Hunter wrote a book called Heroine, that touches on the topic of infertility.
“It really opened my eyes to some of the struggles that people go through that I never had to worry about. It had a huge impact on me.”
Wickhorst took to an internet search and found a surrogacy agency. She believes it is important to align with a great agency when starting a surrogacy journey.
“They sent profiles of intended parents for me to look through. There’s a matching process, so it’s almost like you date for a little bit before you decide if it’s a match. On my first journey, I picked the parents right away. The second time was a bit different because I wanted a couple that was OK with lots of media. I thought, if this is to be my last one, I want to try and raise awareness.”
Sharing her journey so publicly, Wickhorst says she has experienced hateful comments about helping a queer couple become parents but said she sees the LGBTQ+ community growing stronger over the years, and that the positive comments and support outweigh the hate.
“It’s easy to just ignore it now. At first it was tough . . . I believe in the laws of the universe - what you put out there you are going to get in return. . . I’ve learned to respond respectfully or not respond at all.”
Wickhorst has children in the LGBTQ+ community and is a proud ally.
The first baby that Wickhorst was a surrogate for turned four years old on May 12, and she keeps in touch with the family. With an open line of communication, the child is welcome to know their surrogate.
“I did fly to Barcelona to see him when he was six months old and that was pretty cool. We Facetime and keep in touch online.”
With the use of in vitro fertilization, Wickhorst is able to carry a baby that is not genetically hers. In her current arrangement with the intended parents, the egg was donated to them by another queer couple they are close friends with.
Wickhorst is a single mother of two teenage girls, a nine-year-old boy, and eight-year-old twins. Becoming a surrogate brought some limitations but also provided her family with an opportunity for personal growth.
“My kids are incredible little humans . . . I’m generally a go-getter. I like to do everything myself and handle everything. When I got pregnant and wasn’t feeling well, I really needed my kids to step up for me, and they did. I had never given them the chance to step up like that before. I’m so proud of them.”
