Terralynn Bykewich had always looked after others and was always one to pay things forward, recalls her mother, Terri.
Terralynn Bykewich had always looked after others and was always one to pay things forward, recalls her mother, Terri. So when the 26-year-old passed away this October after a four-year battle with cancer, it seemed fitting that the fianc é and one-year-old son she left behind have been chosen as one of the two New Year's Eve benefit families, to receive proceeds from the Dec. 31 dance.
“For them to be nominated, I think it's almost like a full circle,&” said Terri.
David Forbes had known Terralynn for 10 years, as they'd been together when they were students in junior high. Despite separating, the pair reunited and faced the challenge together after Terralynn was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2011.
Terralynn beat the cancer that time and gave birth to her son Brayden on Feb. 23, 2014. While David was not Brayden's biological father, he and Terralynn raised him together after she was diagnosed with cancer a second time.
The cancer came back in May of last year, when Brayden was just three-months-old
“It was the worst thing you can ever imagine. You never think it's going to happen to you,&” he said.
However, Terralynn's life as a mom came through even in the suffering and pain of cancer, he said.
“She was the best, the kindest; she always put people before her, especially her son. Even through her treatment, she was still being a mother. To be sick, to be suffering, to turn that off when her son was in the room - it's unbelievable,&” Forbes recalled.
Having Brayden seemed to give Terralynn extra motivation to beat the cancer, he said, adding, “She just buckled down and did it again.&”
However, she wasn't the same physically, even in remission, said her mother.
“Terra never really came back from that - her breathing never came back,&” Terri explained, saying her daughter was permanently short of breath after the collapse of one lung. “We thought her body just needed to rebuild.&”
The cancer came back more aggressively in spring of this year, and the doctors tried two new experimental drugs, but neither was successful.
Terralynn remained hopeful, with the support of David, who sat with her and did her stretches even when she couldn't get out of bed, said Terri.
“He never left her side, not once, other than to go to work,&” she said, noting despite the horror of cancer, her daughter felt like it had all happened for a reason, bringing her and David back together after their once-separation. “She said she wouldn't have stayed alive as long as she did without him.&”
In fact, Terralynn's hope remained so strong, that she decided to propose to David while still in the hospital, sending her mom to go take pictures of rings for her to choose. After she proposed to him, he bought her a ring and proposed right back.
All the way along, even up to the night before she passed away, Terralynn hoped to be strong enough to walk down the aisle and was planning the wedding.
However, she knew her story might not have a happy ending.
“A week before she passed away, we lay together on the bed,&” said an emotional Terri. She recalled her daughter told her, “I know mom, you don't want to have this talk, but I need you to know that if I pass away tomorrow, I passed away a very happy woman.&”
While Terralynn was in the hospital, a stranger had brought her gifts to her room at the Cross Cancer Centre, something that she was touched by and wanted to do for her fellow cancer patients. After Terralynn's death, a friend started a GoFundMe page and raised $5,000, with which David purchased fuzzy blankets and a bunch of mini iPads that he plans to take, along with Brayden, back to the Cross Cancer centre this December to deliver to each room.
“He's got a good heart. Those two deserved each other,&” says Terri, noting he continues to be “remarkable," putting quality time with Brayden first.
She felt David was a deserving recipient of this year's benefit funds, which he plans to put towards Brayden's future.
For his part, David says he has been fortunate to have the support of his family and friends, particularly with Terri, who had quit her job to look after her daughter and now, helps look after Brayden when he is away working.
“I don't know how a person can watch their child go through that, being sick, and take such good care of her daughter,&” he said.
What's harder for him is that Brayden will not get to know his mom or have memories of her, but he notes the family will be there to tell him about her, as they watch him kiss her picture every night.
“We'll never let him forget who she was, who she is, that she loved him.&”
Chad and Stephanie Stark are the second family that will be receiving funds from this year's New Year's Eve Benefit dance.
With a healthy two-year-old son named Maverick at home, the Starks were excited to welcome baby brother Levi into their family of four this February.
But at less than two days old, Levi unexpectedly passed away. He was born at about 3 a.m. on Feb. 14, and passed away at about 9 p.m. on Feb. 15, recalls Chad. As a result of the tragedy, Chad took time away from work to stay home with his family.
“My head just wasn't in it,&” says Chad of his work at Agland in St. Paul. He adds that it was thanks to the support of family and his employer that the family was able to cope, and also cover the unexpected bills that came along with planning their newborn son's funeral.
Despite having life and medical insurance for their family, neither insurance becomes effective until a newborn baby is two weeks old, which meant the Stark family had an ambulance bill and full funeral expenses to cover.
But not long after, the Stark family would get some happy news when Chad and Stephanie found out they were expecting another addition to their family, due Jan. 5.
Their daughter Riley was born early on Nov. 29 and the family has since been spending time at the Grey Nuns hospital with her until she is healthy enough to go home.
“Things are going really good,&” says Chad about his daughter's health. Because she was born premature, her lungs weren't fully developed, but the family has been told they could be bringing Riley home within the next week.
Riley's early arrival was a shock to the family with Stephanie having to stay behind in St. Paul while her newborn daughter was flown to Edmonton. Chad was quick to be at his daughter's side, meeting the airplane in Edmonton.
Chad acknowledges that the community as a whole has come together to support his young family. The Megan Wolitski Memorial Walk also offered support in a time of need, giving the family a box of items to help remember their baby boy.
And when he heard that his family had been nominated as one of this year's family benefit recipients, “It felt good,&” says Chad.
Two cousins and one of the their best friend's have also benefited from the New Year's Eve event, so the Stark family is aware of the event and the support it can offer.
Each year, the event aims to help as many families as possible that fall within its criteria. Families must live within the town or county of St. Paul, have a member will an ongoing diagnosed medical concern, or have faced some sort of tragedy in the current year.
“Tragedy may be different for everyone,&” says Tammy Yuschyshyn, a member of the benefit committee. Families must also include a child under the age of 18, and must not have received any other community fundraising benefits.
The New Year's Eve Family Benefit will take place Dec. 31 at the St. Paul Rec. Centre. Tickets are now on sale for the event and cost $15 for those 13 years old and up, and $5 for children 12 and under.
Tickets can be bought at the St. Paul Co-op Gas Bar, or Kelly's Closet in Elk Point. Tables of eight can be purchased for $120 each from a committee member. The night will include a live band and music by Renee Malo, a silent auction event, 50/50 draw, balloon drop, kids play zone, popcorn bar, and door prices.
The dance begins at 8:30 p.m. and a lunch will be served at 9:30 p.m. An in-town red nose driver will also be available to safely drive people home.
Right now, the committee is canvasing for silent auction items to help raise funds on the night of the benefit. All money raised is divided between the chosen families. The group is also always on the look-out for new volunteers to help in a variety of ways.
For more information on the benefit, contact (780) 645-1327.
*An earlier version of this story listed David Forbes as Brayden's father. It has been corrected to identify that Forbes is looking after Brayden, but is not his biological father.*
