Lori-Ann de la Salle was a mom just waiting to happen. She’d known for a long time she wanted children, it was just a matter of when.
“I was ready from the day we got married,” she remembered of that day nine and a half years ago she exchanged vows with her husband, Roger. After the couple moved to St. Paul in 2005, and got their business, Fleshworks Tattoo, set up, they decided the time was right to have children. Three-year-old David and Ellie, a few months shy of two, now keep them busy and on their toes.
“People don’t tell you what it will be like or how it will be,” she says. Although a mother-to-be often hears people tell her that her life will change, de la Salle notes, “They don’t tell you how drastically.”
But she commits herself to giving her children her time and energy. “My house isn’t always clean, but I try to give my children the attention they need.” In the living room, David has set up a train, made of boxes and chairs, and de la Salle will interrupt herself periodically to speak to the kids, saying, “David, do you want to go to the zoo? Let’s go to the zoo.”
As keen as she was to be a mother, to be with her kids in their younger years, and teach them to be good people, she had to make the hard decision to leave them and go back to work part-time to help her husband with their business. For the past month, she’s been working two or three days a week, while the kids have been going to a dayhome.
“It’s been an adjustment for everyone,” she says, noting it’s busy to come home from work, try to spend time with the kids, make a healthy dinner and put everyone to bed. “At the end of the day, I’m dead.”
There was a lot of agonizing back-and-forth for her in wondering if she was making the right decision, but de la Salle says she has had a lot of support from her extended family and her husband to make the transition easier.
“I just try to think about what’s best for the kids. Pretty much every decision a mom makes, I think, is based on what’s best for the kids. You always put yourself second.”
While there has been some adjustment, de la Salle still finds the time to enjoy the magic in motherhood, saying it could be as simple as watching her son swinging and listening to him say, “I’m going to smile at you now,” only to give her a big wink.
“It’s just so beautiful. I definitely appreciate every stage they go through.”
Her husband appreciates her efforts, saying his wife puts everybody before herself, dealing with the kids, helping with the business, and handling what he says must be a “heavy workload.” He can see the change in her since she’s become a mom.
“I guess it’s the glimmer in her eye when she sees the kids,” he says. “She seems a little more fulfilled.”
