ST. PAUL – A program in St. Paul is taking action to support men’s mental health in the community. Open to all, the group’s aim is to provide a safe space for men to gather and talk.
Every third Tuesday of the month, the group meets at the St. Paul Regional FCSS’ boardroom to discuss opportunities on how to grow their group and create awareness around mental health.
Rhys Johnson, one of the coordinators and members of the group, says he got involved with the program when he was looking for a group to meet other men back in 2021, and “also talk about men’s issues and make it less awkward to have conversations about men’s mental health.”
“The program works as a free drop-in for men to come and talk about any issues they have,” says Johnson.
There are two facilitators leading the group, who are also available “if anyone wants to talk in a private conversation, if something serious needs to be talked about,” for example, he explains. In addition, the facilitators also talk about resources that may help men within the group.
“However, the group topics and conversations are generated by the men that come,” says Johnson, explaining that everyone is included and encouraged to talk, “but we don’t push them,” if some are not ready to speak.
Johnson says the program also allows men to discuss topics without “worry that other people will find out.”
He adds, “There is a huge stigma that says if we talk about our issues – that we are weak. When in reality, we are stronger."
Caleb Anacker, a social worker and one of the two co-facilitators for the group, agrees with the sentiment, stating that one of the goals of the men’s group is to break down the stigma surrounding men’s mental health. Many men, particularly in the younger generation, are now more open about mental health.
“There’s been a significant shift,” says Anacker, “and there is more awareness among men... about things like toxic masculinity as a concept, where you don’t ask for help about mental and emotional issues.”
Anacker also says the idea that men can only experience emotions like anger is false and unhealthy.
Curtis Isley, a co-facilitator, concurred with Anacker, adding that many men are uncomfortable talking about personal things with other people, because “they don’t want the things they say or do weaponized and used against them.”
Sometimes, it’s tough for men to admit that they have emotions like sadness, meanwhile, emotions like anger seem to be more accepted among men, says Isley.
According to Isley, it is important to discuss mental health in men, because “eventually, [emotions] come out.”
By having a safe space to talk about men’s mental health, men can also “let those things out,” which will then create safer environments at work or at home, while also reducing the build-up of negative emotions, says Isley.
Big T Trauma
The timing of the men's group is also significant and especially important for men to talk about their mental health, according to Anacker, explaining that “we spent the last three years in what could be defined as ‘Big T Trauma’.”
'Big T Trauma’ is diagnosable trauma related to a situation or event when “there is a threat to your life” or if you’ve witnessed someone else’s life be at risk. For example, “we’ve all been traumatized collectively, dealing with the emotions, the fallout, and the symptoms as a result of the very stressful [pandemic].”
Even if men do not discuss the resulting effects of the pandemic during the gatherings, just getting together and connecting with one another every month would help with “healing.”
Metrics defining success
When asked about what makes the program a success, Anacker says that if people “simply show up,” the program is a success.
“If men feel safe enough to invite other people, and they keep showing up, that says something important about what the safety of the environment is – that is in itself a qualitative measure of things working well,” says Anacker.
Isley agreed, stating that while mental health groups for men are not frowned upon, it is still “not overly accepted,” particularly in small rural communities. “It’s not accessed a lot, so the fact that they’re showing up is already a huge measure that there are men out there acknowledging that they need help.”
The next meeting for the men’s group will be Feb. 21 at 7:30 p.m. at the St. Paul Regional FCSS’ board room, and Anacker and Isley encourage men in the community to join.
Johnson says the meetings have an open table approach, where each person can talk about their depression and anxiety, and how they deal with it, for example.
There are also plans for having guest speakers come in the future, to talk on a variety of topics.
“The best bit of the program is that you can be open and honest about yourself while not fearing judgment from others. It is a safe environment," concludes Johnson.
