Bryan Beach has been down some hard roads, gripped in the throes of addiction, anger and obsession. But through a lot of soul searching, he’s grown into a man dedicated to digging deeper and finding truth, and helping others do the same.
He remembers the moment when he realized he knew he wanted to turn himself around from addiction, of self-harm and suicide attempts.
“My heart was just on fire, I wanted to change. I drew pictures of what I wanted to be like, of what I wanted,” said Beach. “I was hungry for respect - hungry, hungry, hungry for respect. I knew if that was going to happen, I had to respect myself.”
For the past two and a half years, Beach – known as Bryan Chamberland when he grew up in St. Paul - had been touring with Robb Nash as a singer and guitarist, in presentations focused on suicide prevention. Now, he is working towards starting his own tour and working with students on making positive life choices.
“Not one conversation is the same. I go into it and I follow my heart. As I do that, people can sense when you’re real, when you’re genuine. The kids just seem to connect with that.”
It helps that Beach himself knows what it’s like to face struggles, as he’s faced his own demons from a young age.
At the age of seven, he was diagnosed with Aspergers. At the age of 12, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He overheard a couple of teachers and doctors tell his parents not to expect too much of him as he grew up.
“It really kind of ignited a fire in me. It made me really angry,” he said – it was an anger that would burn steadily for the next decade of his life.
“I was addicted to everything growing up; I was lost inside myself,” he said, adding his addictions ranged from food to alcohol to drugs to cigarettes to sex - everything in his life focused on destruction.
“I was on a journey. I didn’t care if I lived or died.”
Between the ages of 17 and 21, he was admitted into the hospital three times for alcohol and drug-induced psychosis.
He felt the deep desire to change. When a doctor told him that he was on his way to becoming a diabetic, and that he had to start seeking for another way, he said he knew it was time.
“That night, I was looking at myself in the mirror – I started to literally look at my eyes and I started to shout at myself, ‘ I know you want to be more, I know I want to do more, I know you can do more!’ I still do that to this day. I do that every day.”
He’d grown up with a list of endless medications, but he said he started getting off the medication, living a better life and losing over 100 lbs. in six months. Within nine months, he was featured in a magazine on health and wellness. He became a personal trainer, but felt that relentless push to still do more and be more, parlaying his love of music into a career as a guitarist, singer and storyteller, working with country rock singer Rod Black and Farley Flex of Canadian Idol fame.
When he met the drummer for the Robb Nash Project, and heard Nash talk about suicide prevention, it was an eye-opener.
“I had a bit of a revelation if you will,” he said, explaining it was as though all the puzzle pieces he held in his hand finally came together in his head as a complete picture. “I got a clear vision – I understand why I was doing all these things in the audio-visual field. I saw this well-oiled machine and thought, ‘That’s what I want to do, that’s where I want to go.’”
He would end up touring with the Robb Nash project for the next two and a half years, during which time he would get married, welcome a baby boy into the world and buy a home; he found that as he kept following his heart, the good things in his life kept overflowing.
“This whole experience has cleaned me up in a way that has made me realize I’m not here for myself, I’m here for other people.”
Eventually, his time with the Robb Nash project had the rest of the team telling him he was ready to take the next step, to do this kind of work on his own.
“They unleashed me, if you will. They believe in me,” he said.
He hopes to follow up with Nash’s work on suicide prevention, in working with families, parents and teachers together to create a support system for students. Bringing those supportive pieces together for students is huge, he explains, saying he is where is also because of his family, who never gave up on him, who loved, embraced and supported him unconditionally.
While details are still being finalized, he’s hopeful that he can be on the road with his tour as early as 2018.
Working with the Nash project has been the best training, as he feels he’s aligned with the “best of the best” teams that work in suicide prevention.
“I’m ready for the next step, I’m ready to empower and uplift our youth.”
Every day, people can wake up looking for pain, or they can wake up looking for strength, he says, adding the other lesson he gained from Nash is the fact that everyone has the possibility to be a world changer.
“Time is the only thing we have and it’s what we do with it is that’s going to shape the world. We can wake up every day and choose to do something with our time, choose to do something of significance, or we can choose to go the other way, and hinder the progress,” he says. “I know that everybody has the same deep-seated desire to do something of significance. I feel like what my team is doing is part of that bigger picture, simply responding to the call of my mentor.”
“I’m eternally grateful to the Robb Nash project and everything they have done, they’re doing and they will continue to do, and I’m looking forward to our next connection.”
