Faith Stewart and Mandy sit on the floor and boxes, watching a baby girl tumble around as she plays with Faith’s friendly dog. The apartment is small but full of toys, furniture and smiles, which have chased away the screaming, tears, fear and emptiness each of these two women faced before.
Although they were strangers two months ago, the two women have struck up a connection, and have helped each other through a hard time in life with kindness and support.
“I just never met people like that, that would be so generous with such big hearts,” said Mandy, looking amazed by the events that brought her and Faith together.
The pair had met at the Dollar Tree in November, where Faith works, and struck up a conversation that would turn both their Christmases upside-down.
Mandy had just moved to the area, fleeing an abusive relationship. She recalled how she and her partner would stay up all night fighting, her school-age son and one-year-old daughter frightened by the anger and tension in the household. It reached a boiling point when he got rougher with her, shoving her around and throwing her against walls and furniture.
“He was freaking out my daughter, carrying her when he was drunk and screaming at me,” she said. “I didn’t want her to see that and grow up affected by it.”
Mandy questioned if she could leave, recalling, “He told me, ‘You’ll never survive without me.’”
“I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to succeed and stay on my own,” she said, thinking, ‘I’m going to have to raise two kids and find a job.’
Since she was originally from Saddle Lake and because the local shelter had room to take her and her two children in, it made sense to come back to St. Paul. All that Mandy carried with her was a suitcase or two of clothes, and she began looking to make a fresh start.
When she met Faith, she explained she was waiting to move in to an apartment – not that she had much to move.
“I had a couple of dishes and a little bit of clothes,” Mandy recalled, adding she was making do with food from the shelter and the food bank.
Faith could understand the magnitude of what Mandy had done and the hill she was climbing.
“It’s really hard to leave abusive relationships. They beat you down until you believe there’s no way you can look after yourself,” said Faith. “I’ve experienced that myself.”
Her own two children are in her mother’s care, since Faith’s previous relationship was abusive. She has since moved on and is married to someone she describes as “a big hearted guy” who loves her children as his own, but the fact that her children are so far away from her still creates anger and deep sadness in her.
“I said to my husband, ‘I never want people to experience the pain I’ve gone through,’” she said, adding her conversation with Mandy “kind of sat heavy on me.”
Through a friend, she found Mandy some more clothes, a stroller and an Exersaucer, which she delivered. It bothered her to see the bare state of Mandy’s apartment, with three presents under the tree.
Faith told her husband about it, and the two of them started to put the feelers out on social media to see if anybody wanted to make donations to the single mom and her children. It was a step that yielded huge results.
“My phone basically blew up,” Faith said, adding she couldn’t even sleep without being interrupted by messages from people wanting to help.
By the end of it, several people had donated a table and chairs, dishes, pots and pans, a toaster, beds, a microwave, clothing, toys for the children, food, gas for making pick-ups and deliveries, and even a car for the family of three, looking to make it on their own. Families who were adopting other families in need messaged each other with tips on spots to find free or cheap items and the spirit of helping and giving lit up local Facebook walls.
Mandy was dumbfounded as the items kept pouring in. “It’s overwhelming, but in a good way, because I never met anyone who would help out that much.”
But it wasn’t only Mandy that was helped in the exchange.
“Before she came, I was depressed. I honestly had nothing to do,” Faith said, adding that other than work, and without her children, she felt a void in her life.
“I can’t fix what happened to me, but I can help her. I can help make it better for her.”
As Faith, her husband and Mandy saw the donations flood in, Faith realized that being part of the giving was healing the wounds in her soul. “It’s helping me release what’s been bothering me.”
Now when Faith comes in the door, she says the face of Mandy’s one-year-old lights up, eager to see Faith and what items she’s brought with her – and her joy is Faith’s joy too.
“She’s happier, she’s way happier,” agrees Mandy of her baby. It used to be that her partner would come home drunk and the pair would start fighting, upsetting the baby. “She’d be up at night, screaming. (Now) if she wants to sleep at night, she can sleep through without having the chaotic-ness.”
This year, Mandy could look forward to Christmas, with the apartment full of food and toys for the kids, in the place of the emptiness that was there. She and Faith had plans to spend the holiday together, with their families.
“I’m happy, my kids are happy, I get to be with my new friends,” Mandy said, feeling optimistic now that her ex was out of the picture. “I’m succeeding far beyond what he said I was going to and I feel good.”
She issued a grateful message to all those who helped, saying, “Just thank you, with all my heart.”
